Feeling Like a Sand Castle

This morning I am feeling a little weak, a little temporary.  In the recent past, I felt rooted and confident of success in an area of long-term struggle, but now I am feeling insecure again.  My castle was built… and a wave came and knocked it down.

Sometimes I like to be vague regarding what I am struggling with so that as people read my thoughts, it is easier for them to apply what the Lord speaks to them to their specific situation. But this morning, I think I should just be straight up and honest about where I am at.  I am so tired of talking and thinking about this, but here it is, in my face again.  Food… eating and weight gain.

Yesterday morning I was reading an entry from Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young.  She writes from the perspective of what the Lord might be saying.  She writes, “The truth is that self-sufficiency is a myth perpetuated by pride and temporary success. Health and wealth can disappear instantly, as can life itself.  Rejoice in your insufficiency, knowing that My power is made perfect in weakness.”

She’s right.  As soon as I think, “I got this!” things start to crumble again and I think, “I DON’T got this!”  It’s so frustrating.  I don’t want to struggle and have to figure this out again.  I want to be like a fortress that can withstand any attack.

And then I read one of the Scriptures Sarah referred to in the devotional, and the Lord gave me a beautiful picture:

“And He has said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.’ Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. 

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NASB)

The Lord spoke to my heart and showed me that if I were a fortress, a cement block, I could stand alone.  It is better to be like a sand castle, which is molded and then toppled by a wave.  As the sand castle melts into the water, there can indeed be rejoicing in that weakness.  In fact, my weakness is beautiful, because each time I am toppled, I can be remolded- I can be touched by the hand of God.

And here’s another beautiful truth… I started crying when the Lord helped me see another aspect of this.  When I am toppled by a wave, then I am dispersed into the world.  We are sand, and when we become wet, our broken castles spread out and touch others’ broken castles.

So, I’ve been pondering, how does this sand castle concept actually work in real life?

~ If I am like sand, I need to acknowledge and accept that life is about becoming more mature in Christ, not about pursuing cement-like perfection in different areas of struggle.

~ As I am being molded and then melted over and over, God is mercifully and lovingly maturing me AND allowing my weaknesses to be His way of touching others’ lives through me.

~ I must choose a “Home Base.”  Sand castles have two options: Be built on the water line and later washed away, or be built farther away from the water and crumble in the heat.  Washed or Crumbled- that’s it.

               I WANT TO BE WASHED BY THE WATER.

Being washed by the water is the vital component to being constantly remolded by the Lord and touching the lives of others.

And what is the water?

The Word of God.

I don’t want to struggle forever with food choices. But rather than despairing, I will wash my heart in the water of God’s word, get on my knees and embrace His next level of molding.  I guess there is more work he wants to do here.  And I WILL rejoice, because I believe that He will somehow use my melting to touch others’ broken castles.